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Who Needs Nukes?
Need to take down a country’s infrastructure without breaking a sweat? Just send in an army of slimy assassins.
Who’d have thought the Russians could be so sneaky?
According to MI6, the creatures that knocked out 10% of France’s entire grid for an unspecified period of time were trained in sabotage. Not only that, but it turns out that jellyfish have also been responsible for taking out nuclear plants in Sweden, Britain, the US and Japan.
How come we didn’t hear about this before?
“Frankly no-one likes to admit that jellyfish can outwit the Military Establishment, but, however painful, we must face facts.” stated the MI6 Official Spokespook.
Could environmentalists be working for the Russians?
“These events certainly align with the desired outcomes of the Carbon Suppression Movement, but as far as we’re aware, neither Greta Thunberg nor the People Gluing Themselves to Paintings And Roads have anything to do with this. We are keeping an open mind. Having said that, crises always contain silver linings because we can use these situations to introduce measures that will make us all feel safer.”