HomeSatireDisease x has already wiped out most of planet

Disease x has already wiped out most of planet

Only 6 billion survivors left on planet earth.

When will the nightmare end?


That’s the question that’s been on the minds of several officials at WHO headquarters who had to be airlifted to Geneva Central Mental Hospital suffering from mental exhaustion after they had been been given access to death statistics on Disease X. The WHO AI spokesbot had to be deployed as there were no human-type spokespersons available for comment.

Florence Nightingale is now the WHO spokesbot.

“We don’t know anything about Disease X other than it is a silent deadly killer that knows no limits.” said Florence Nightingale (The SpokesBot) “Death figures we’ve seen this morning revealed the devastating effect of this silent assassin. There should be 66 billion people walking around on Planet Earth today, but because of X we are only a mere 6 billion. Humanity needs to fight this formidable enemy with all the strength we can muster before it completely wipes us out. Not knowing what Disease X actually is provides us with a truly formidable problem. We are immediately deploying Vaccine X as a countermeasure. This vaccine is designed to mitigate the effects of a disease we know nothing about. Thanks to our wonderful partners the Bill & Melinda Gates Foundation, Pfizer, GlaXo Smithkline, ModeRNA, Gilead and the Rockefeller Foundation. Without these fine organisations there wouldn’t even be a sample of humanity left. Message ends. Our apologies. Florence Nightingale is currently offline.”

We were unable to get any further response from the WHO. No-one is allowed in or out of their building other than by ambulance. Armed guards have been posted to prevent ingress.

We await further developments.


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