HomeSatireLetters Extracts Written by Council Tenants

Letters Extracts Written by Council Tenants

  1. It’s the dogs mess that I find hard to swallow.
  2. I want some repairs done to my cooker as it has backfired and burnt my knob off.
  3. I wish to complain that my father twisted his ankle very badly when he put his foot in the hole in his back passage.
  4. Their 18-year-old son is continually banging his balls against my fence.
  5. I wish to report that tiles are missing from the outside toilet roof. I think it was bad wind the other day that blew them off.
  6. My lavatory seat is cracked, where do I stand?
  7. I am writing on behalf of my sink, which is coming away from the wall.
  8. Will you please send someone to mend the garden path. My wife tripped and fell on it yesterday and now she is pregnant.
  9. The toilet is blocked and we cannot bath the children until it is cleared.
  10. Our lavatory seat is broken in half and now is in three pieces.
  11. The man next door has a large erection in the back garden, which is unsightly and dangerous.
  12. Our kitchen floor is damp. We have two children and would like a third, so please send someone round to do something about it.
  13. I am a single woman living in a downstairs flat and would you please do something about the noise made by the man on top of me every night.
  14. Please send a man with the right tool to finish the job and satisfy my wife.
  15. This is to let you know that our lavatory seat is broke and we can’t get BBC2.
  16. It’s all right dear, Varadkar will build you a council house after he has housed all the illegal migrants. That’s a promise.
  17. My bush is really overgrown round the front and my back passage has fungus growing in it…
  18. That will keep Varadkar at bay.


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