HomeSatireBeware of the Fairy’s Three Wishes

Beware of the Fairy’s Three Wishes

An asylum seeker arrived in Ireland with great expectations having been told by an NGO that Ireland was the promised land and he would be welcomed in Dublin with a red carpet, be given a mobile phone, a credit card with endless spending a new house and a €25,000 grant to start up in business by a grateful Irish government who would be delighted to see him. He soon had the phone, new clothes, a very limited spending credit card and a bed in a crowded hotel with what a bunch of what he described as foreigners.

A Fairy Appears

In a somewhat dejected mood he wandered up O’Connell St. and when he got to the Garden of Remembrance he was wondering why it would have such a shallow swimming pool. While lost in his thoughts he was jerked into the moment by the sudden appearance of a somewhat strange looking lady in front of him. Before he could open his mouth she said in a sultry seductive voice, “I am responding to a calling from your inner thoughts and desires. I am a magical fairy and I am here to fulfil your innermost desires by granting you three wishes.”

Three Wishes

Still shocked he said without thinking “I am starving”. Instantly a great banquet appeared in front of him with the most desirable food and wine he could ever imagine. On finishing the banquet, he said for wish number two saying “I want a big suburban mansion with a swimming pool and a brand new Ferrari out front” and walla it appeared.

Now he said “For wish number three I want to be Irish” and POW everything instantly disappeared. “Where has everything gone” he whined. The Fairy replied with a triumphant cackle, “You are Irish now and therefore you are entitled to fuck all” and with that she vanished like everything else.


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